I’m just a regular person right? I live my everyday life. I get up at 6:30 a.m. to go to school, I put on my clothes, brush my hair, wash my face, eat breakfast, and then I’m out the door. After a long and boring drive to school, I go to advanced chemistry, try hard, then I go to advanced english, try hard, then I go to advanced calculus and the cycle goes on over and over again. Then I truly wonder, “What is all of this for”? “Am I doing this for myself or am I doing this because I feel like I have to”?
Being a little black girl with a single mom who didn’t grow up with a lot of money, I’ve seen my fair share of homeless people out on the streets and I always wonder what got them there. I ask myself if it’s truly because they didn’t try hard enough at life or because life didn’t give them something to love. Then I look out the window of my mom’s car and I see sadness and despair on most of the faces I see. Of course you’ll see some people in poverty with the biggest smiles on their faces and by no means am I saying that every poor person is sad. But I started to wonder what separated the happy ones from the sad ones.
Throughout my school life I’ve noticed that I overload myself with pressure that I don’t need. I’ve always been a perfectionist and felt that if I wasn’t perfect at everything, then there was no place for me in the world. Of course you always should try your hardest at everything but why do I have to be good at everything. I’ve realized that this is an impossible goal that humans try to achieve. As humans, we want to be anything but human and that’s one of our greatest faults. At school I would be in the hardest math class and the hardest physics class to prove to myself and others that I’m smarter and better at these subjects than most people but those were subjects that I struggled in the most. To be honest, even though I still tried hard at these things, my grades in these classes weren’t as high as my grades in english or chemistry.
Then it hit me that maybe I got mediocre grades in those classes because I’m not passionate about those classes like I am in chemistry and english. I got A’s in chemistry and English all year because I was more passionate about those subjects. You can try your hardest at any subject but even if you do get a good grade, it won’t really feel like you’ve accomplished anything because you aren’t doing what you love to do. We are taught that we need to train ourselves to get a job that makes a lot of money even if we don’t like the job.
Especially if it’s a regular 9-5 job. Even though 9-5 jobs are perfectly fine to have, I’ve never understood why I had to get one. Of course this was the plan when I was younger but as I grew older, I never understood why I needed a 9-5 job. I started getting into social media like Twitter and Youtube more often and most of the content creators that I watch and follow were making a decent living off of the content that they created. Following them inspired me to do the same because I always wanted a job where I can be my own boss. Even if you won’t make much money, this is the setting that I prefer when working rather than dealing with an angry employer.
Having money is great but if you don’t have the passion and drive for it, then what’s the point? Even if you’re rich on the outside, you’re poor on the inside. Not just that, but you’ve also followed the rules of society by working yourself to death at school, trying to be amazing at things you don’t like, then trying to do things you don’t like. When will people start to learn that being good at everything is boring. That makes us all slaves to society and that’s boring. I believe that everyone has a god given talent but choosing what other people want over what you want is boring. That’s probably why I see sad looks on people’s faces, they never got a chance at what they wanted to do in life so they become stuck in a rut. Even if someone tells you that your dreams won’t get you anywhere in life, you’ll always make it big if you’re doing something you love. I never want to be bored and stuck, I want to go places and do out-of-the-box things that people haven’t done before like becoming a chemical engineer, lawyer, or freelance writer and I’ll never give up on those dreams and most of all–I’ll never be boring.