College is…Okay…I guess

So this year, 2018 is my first year in college. I have a full ride and I don’t have any financial responsibilities to worry about this year. I don’t really know what I want to do though. Some people say that college is either the best time of their lives or the worst time of their lives. Of course in college, the classes are harder, the academic workload is harder, and you probably feel like you have less time to do anything. Of course college is a growing experience but I’ve reached the point where I don’t know and don’t care much anymore. To give a little backstory on this, I was a big workaholic in high school and still am to this day. I was blessed to receive a 4.0 G.P.A. and graduate with honors my senior year of high school. Even though I was very blessed and humbled to be able to go to the college I go to with no loans, I can’t help but be in a state of limbo. I’m pretty sure every college student has this at some point but if you don’t and you’ve known what you want to do with your life from birth, that’s very awesome and rare. To those who are in limbo, it is perfectly normal to not know what you want to do with your life. I’ve never really known what I wanted to do with my life since I just picked up a major in a field that I enjoyed in high school. It’s also very hard to find people to talk to about this. Even though it’s college and they have a ton of resources available to students to use. Being an introverted person like me that find it very hard to initiate a conversation, I don’t know how I would find the voice to talk about this with someone. At this point, I’m doing pretty well in my classes, yet I’m not a party person because I’m introverted so most of the time I just sit at my desk and do work and nothing else really. I definitely wouldn’t call this depressing but it get it gets lonely sometimes. I’m learning more now that being introverted is apart of me and it’s something that I can’t really change but I can control. I can control the people I choose to speak with and the people I make connections with. If someone asked me where I would be in four years, I would honestly just stare laugh. I’m honestly just trying to excel in my passion. I love to write and I like chemistry and a lot of other things. I’m just diving into what I think I should be doing but I think I’ve left the path of listening to what people think you should be doing. Of course people want you to get a high paying job when you go to college, but I’ve also learned this past year that I have the power to do whatever I want to do and if I’m happy, my life is fulfilled. I know this sounds cliche but it definitely gets real in college. If someone asks me how college is going right now, my response would be “it’s okay I guess”. That’s how things are in a state of limbo I guess.

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